Respect
I rode by myself, today. I went to the ghetto coursts and just had a chill session. The gray clouds loomed overhead as I spun. The mexican kids were cool and gave me props. I was strange. I felt a period of freedom, where I didn't have to be anywhere, do anything or be anything for anyone. I had the urge to sit on a curb and watch traffic go by, maybe eat something cool. Times like that seem to happen less and less, these days. It's not that I don't have good times, but there is always someplace to be, something that needs doing. I feel like I am always playing a role of some kind, fulfilling some need for someone else, and yet, I sometimes enjoy the control. I enjoy the idea that I have some control, though I do not in reality.
But I can control my bike...for the most part. There are a great many times I wish I could just ride all day, whenever I wanted to. There was a time whn that was possibilty for me. But then again, I am no slave. I provide for my kids and I take great pride in that. Being a father has given me a great repsect for anybody who raises a kid. I don't care if they are "bad" parents, as long as they are there for the kid EVERY time. People have no idea how hard it is, just being in that role. Nothing you do is right and you hear about everything you do wrong, if not from someone else, then from that voice in your head. I'm telling you, man...it's a hard road.
That's why I ride.
~J
But I can control my bike...for the most part. There are a great many times I wish I could just ride all day, whenever I wanted to. There was a time whn that was possibilty for me. But then again, I am no slave. I provide for my kids and I take great pride in that. Being a father has given me a great repsect for anybody who raises a kid. I don't care if they are "bad" parents, as long as they are there for the kid EVERY time. People have no idea how hard it is, just being in that role. Nothing you do is right and you hear about everything you do wrong, if not from someone else, then from that voice in your head. I'm telling you, man...it's a hard road.
That's why I ride.
~J
posted by Voodstoc at 10:50 PM
1 Comments:
Hmm interesting how no one has commented on this yet.... Maybe lack of people that can relate to your daily life? One of the hardest things to accomplish in life is being a successful parent, whatever that means. We all have our own definition of what being a parent means. Shaped either from what was done to us as a child, what we saw in the parents of our friends or merely what we fantasized parenting to be. The joy is seeing a smile on your childs face when you cannot summon one on your own face. It is the little things like watching my daughter score a goal in soccer tournement today that reminds me that the struggles are WORTHWHILE.
Many days I forget this, and have to stand back and gain perspective on my purpose in life, and who I mean to my two wonderful kids. It all comes around full circle some day, and in my heart that keeps me going.
~cheers, Julie
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