WIZZZZ

So Julie and I were saying goodbye and chatting and possibly doing a little kissing when a car pulls up next to us in the parking lot. There were three guys inside and we were thinking that we picked a good parking lot because of all the action it hosted. As we sat in the PT, one of the guys came over, stood at the front driver's side corner of the PT and got into "piss" position, obviously not noticing that there were people in the car. I promptly honked at him and he jumped. It was great. Julie started laughing as loudly as she could as the guy walked beck to his buddies with his back to us.

Then Julie opens her door and yells out, "Nice job! I am glad you didn't pull your DICK out!"

We laughed some more and after a few minutes the guys got into the car and started to leave. Before they closed the door, I rolled down my window and told them, "Get that guy to a bathroom ASAP!"

Never a dull moment.

~J

Rants

Well, my life is getting to me, right now. I still haven't gotten my car back, my place is a wreck and I really don't feel like I have any control over anything right now. I generally get overwhelmed, work through it and get myself back into a positive mind, but it seems to be getting harder each time.

Stress is just something I have to deal with, but at times I can't. Period. I have many people judge me (as do we all) and I understand it all, but there are days when I am done with it. I don't mean done as in I am buying a gun...I mean done as in I will walk away mid sentence and not give a fuck.

I have been doing that at work to Gary. Seriously. If I have a level of tolerence, he depletes it. He is so counter to my mindset that I almost can't talk to him at this point. I seriously despise actual arrogance (as opposed to sarcastic joking which people take seriously) within myself and I look back on situations and think what an ass I have been. He seems to exude a quiet, yet extreme and righteous arrogance that seriously offends me simply out of hand. He's biggotted and thinks he is a "realist." He is sexist and thinks he is funny. I can't stand his political views which are based on ignorant propaganda and prejudices. He's a miserable workaholic and not anyone I want to even remotely be like.

I wish I was not so important to the bussiness, but truthfully, he'd be fucked without me. It puts so much on my shoulders and I can't shed the weight. Oh well, once I pay off the car and raise my kids (only 12 more years to GO!!) I will quit. I can feel the urge to take control of everything and people generally don't like it when I do that because I get distanced in order to make things happen. I use my angry face to move the mountain as far as it will go. It's not the way I like to deal with my mountains, but maybe it is time.

Toby gets home thursday. I'm glad he had fun, but he has alot to do.

If you read this whole thing, then you deserve a pat on the back! I thank you.
~J

WHAT?!!

If you ever need a headgasket replaced burn, sell or destroy the car. Yeah, it sucks. The mechanic said that the machinist found a nick in the mating surface and is pressure testing it for cracks. Not good. They set me up with a rental, which turned out to be a PT Cruiser. Not good as well, if you know how I feel about Dodge, much less the PT Cruiser. I had to insure it, etc. I am not stoked at all. I mean, why not the Cadillac Escalade? Or the Ford Expedition?

I really miss my car. It sucks. It also sucks because my woman is going through some shit and I can't even hug her. I did get to meet her girls, though. That was kinda trippy. It was so built up and then when it happened, it was so casual. I'm glad it's over, though.

I am thinking about doing my bike-related bloggin on the BBB site and my personal blogging on this site. I just need to figure out how to do both with the same name.

~J

Element 2

Sweat ran from my face as I forced my legs to pump onward. The Element was in my pocket and as it bumped my leg, I could feel the heat. May'curr had told me that as the Possesor, the Element would be my burden.

"Your's is the terminal Possesion," he had told me many times. "Your death must be the death of the Element as well. If not, then it will be the death of light." For years I had lived with my people as they filled me with the only barrier against the Elemental anger that could slow true possesion: Love. I had lived into early womanhood in happiness. But the time of love was over and I was running. In the distance, I could hear the horse's ragged cries.

"Peace be a grant of Mya'chna!" I screamed, then I stumbled. The Element burned with heat and anger against my leg at that prayer. In a panic, I rolled over and dug into my pants, desperately trying to remove it. As the heat subsided with dry hisses, I discovered that it had burned itself into my skin and I could not remove it. Apparently, love was no barrier after all.

I got up and ran once more, ignoring the pain.

Reaching May'curr's house, I ran onto his dock and scrambled into his boat. Cutting the rope, I could hear approaching footsteps coming from the trees. In the dark without a moon, I did not pause as May'curr came out from the trees and towards me.

His body was twisted, his head turned sideways, his eyes looking at me without recognition. He glowed a dull red and was followed by the rest of my people who were equally broken. Equally evil. Some were missing limbs. A few had exposed organs. Math'alka had a rope tied around his neck and was being dragged by his wife. They had the look of hunger and hate in their eyes and blood covered their bodies.

I shoved off as sobs overtook me. I took out my knife and dug the Element out of my leg, then submerged it into the water. As it hissed, a few shrieks came from the twisted. They continued into the water after me, but would not catch me. Once the Element was far enough away, their souls would be released.

My eyes running with tears, my leg running with blood, I spoke the prayers of conveyence amid my sobs as the sail billowed with the night's breeze.

Element

I just walked away, without looking back. Trying to keep my pace steady and my body calm while my mind screamed in terror. Sounds of death behind me along with the pounding of flesh and bone. The night dropping shadows upon the dirt under me feet, I turned the corner and broke into a run. Suddenly I could feel the heat in my heart, the tears came and I could not see.

Behind me, my people were dying. Within my pocket was the reason for their end. People in the street turned to watch as I ran, unaware of my situation. These same people were already dead, for they had seen my face. They would follow my people and assult me in my dreams forever. Mothers pulled their children away from me.

"Don't look at me!" I screamed, but they looked despite my plead.

I closed my eyes and brought the Element from my pocket and placed it to my forehead as I ran. Heat and a tangible aura of hate touched me there. I started to recite the chants which May'curr had drilled into me and the aura dulled. May'curr would still be fighting, this I knew. May'curr would be the last left standing of my people. May'curr would be the final barrier between me and death.

I stopped near a horse and placed the Element against it's neck. With more chants, the horse grew still and then it's breath became course and heavy. With a lurch it snapped at me, so I sent it back along the path I had come. As the horse passed a small girl, it stamped her into the ground with a deliberate focus and I let out a frustrated cry.

As I turned to run, I uttered a prayer for the girl and her sacrifice. Her life was required so that the horse may win me some extra time to escape. Behind me the horse stumbled through the street and lunged at everything that moved. I heard a dog yelp. The Element was hot again.

Visuals

Well, I just got a new tv. It's nice and it is great to watch movies on. Being without a tv for a week was nice. I am thinking about ways to restrict the kids and force them into other ways of occupying themselves. Actually, it is mostly Toby I am focussing on. But it is really nice. $300 and I got a DVD player at the pawn shop for $30. So I can play DVDs and CDs and they will sound pretty good.

Here are some new pics I took with my phone!

Julie revealing her true nature!

Abby revealing her underwear! These are my girls.
~J

Jam notes

I got a child support check in the mail, saturday. It was great! Julie bought me a t-shirt that has a picture of Willy Wonka with his Ompa-loomps and says, " I (heart) Midgets." I love it!

The Jam happened this weekend and it was fun. The real riding went down friday night at the werehouse, though. I am working on Karl-kruizers to half-packs. This trick is no joke. I got close a few times, but the important thing is that I am progressing with it. I will be doing it soon and it will feel so good, so smooth. I can't wait. But I have some work ahead of me.

The kids are with their mother, today, and next week, Toby will be at his grandmother's so I will only have Abby. It is so strange having only one child around. it is a completely different dynamic. They are usually less argumentative, more fun to be around. I like it. Sometimes it is so hard to give them the attention they think they need, especially when I am so used to giving myself so much attention. I think Abby and I will go rollerskating or something.
~J

Ok, so I am off for another great weekend. This week has been very trying to say the least and it ended with me getting really pissed at Gary. Without going into what the situation was, he basically told me one thing, then came back and said that he told me something else and that " Well, I told you.." thing he says alot. I got very pissed and walked away from him with him trying to step in my way so he could explain. Seriously, I wanted him away! So after I calmed down and he he just WASN'T getting it, I asked him if he understood why I got mad. He seriously didn't get it. I explained twice and gave up. I have no clue how that man has remained married for 30 years. Fuck!!

Oh well, now my weekend has started. I am happy and excited. I can't wait to hear how Julie's adventure went. She is going to be in advertisements for her work. I think it is because she has such beautiful eyes. Seriously.

BBB FOREVER!!
~J

I can take a hint

Ok, I changed things around a little. Let the slander begin. I worked on that clown skull for a LONG time and I love it, so if you don't like it, too bad. It's staying. It pretty much sums up this blog...well...maybe if it was sporting an erection wearing a burning thong, THEN it would sum up this blog.

Well, I have to fix the car. Head gasket = $900. Ouch, to say the least. The tv finally died last saturday as well, and I found a cockroach. Yeah, having a great week. Great. But there is alot that is positive too, so I have balance and I am not down on it all. The kids will start school in a few weeks and that will be trippy at first, but I have dealt with it before.

I won't get to see Julie this weekend, so that is lame, but last weekend was so good that maybe I should be denied for awhile...too much of a good thing and all that.

Rode with Paul last night and ended up in the middle of a soccer game. I'm not sure which team I was on while I was hang-5'ing into a half-pack, but I think we won. The jam is this weekend and I will probably work saturday, since I need to pay for the car. I can't wait to see Taku, Nelson and Billy. YAY!
~J

Fortunes

When Julie and I went to Marco Polo for dinner, I got two fortunes in my cookie. They read:

• No one can walk backward into the future.
• Prosperity destroys the fools and andangers the wise.

Then Julie's fortune was:

• Look for the dream that keeps coming back. It is your destiny.

Hmmmmmmm.

~J

Agua. Hola, amigo

I bought a program that will teach me spanish. It is called immersive language. I can't wait to hear what Juan REALLY says...
~J

CHANGE!!

Sorry, guys, but people putting up ads on this blog are lame, so no more unregistered comments. I know it sucks, mostly for Joe, but I hate spammers.
~J

Abby

Abby in the car. I love this picture so much.
~J

HOTTY

Here is Julie on the beach, getting a mild sunburn while I get a mild erection.
~J

Pic

Here is the desk I built today. It was a pain, but it looks great!

Everybody's Working for the Weekend!

What a fucking weekend!!

1. First Julie came down and met Becky in a surprising way. I am glad that is over, to be honest. Becky was asking for joint custody and I basically said that I was not willing. It went well, though, Becky didn't seem surprised not overly offended. Good. She is feeling threatened by Julie, though...it's obvious.
2. Then Julie and I enjoyed a great evening and morning together.
3. After I got off work, we had lunch with Paul after Becky showed up to spend the weekend at my place with the kids. Becky called soon after freaking out saying that the apts were on fire. After I hung up, several fire trucks and the battalion chief flew by. A fire it was indeed. It consumed four apartments and left three families homeless. Didn't touch my place, thanks to the Salem Fire Dept.!
4. Paul and I headed up to Portland to ride with Joe and Tzim. We headed to the whore.., er, I mean warehouse and had a truly badass session. We all took turns on Sarge.., er I mean his camera. We got some great footage of my volumtuous gut. Paul has the whole setup with his G4 laptop to edit up for a decent video, which is in the plans.
5. Julie called me alot and we made gushy over the airwaves. She is one in a million.
6. Once again the cops surrounded my neighborhood after a car thief who crashed the car and took off on foot in an attempt to get on "Idiotic criminals caught on tape 13."
7. My car was broken into during the night. They ruined my stereo and that's all they did. Nice, huh?

Very interesting, to say the least. Cloud-topping highs, mixed with balls-scraping lows. Can I get a witness? I said, CAN I GET A WITNESS?

~J

Reality's Road

It was so hot, today. I bought a CD today, just to celebrate. R.E.M.'s Automatic for the People. One of their best and my favorite. I have had this CD twice before. One I gave away to I can't remember who, the second was stolen from my truck by a death-craving maggot. If you do not own this CD, go buy it.

I have a busy weekend. Friday I will get to see Julie after two weeks, then work saturday, then hang out with Julie some more until Paul and I go to Joe's, where Juan is staying as well. Joe and Juan will be spooning in Joe's room, while Sarge and I spoon on the Floor of Lethargic Dreams. Sunday is riding and I have some things that are coming along.

So much passion in three days time.

I am really bummed about my stupidity concerning money this month. I should have planned better when I went to Canada. I am not living alone, anymore, and I need to be an adult and stay on top of the cash for the sake of my kids. I am lucky in that I am going to be working more and at $25.50 an hour, it adds up quickly.

I was talking to Chad, today, and he does so well with his money. He makes more, but he makes it DO more, too. I want that. I need to get disciplined more so than I am. Oh well, at least I'm happy. It's all climbing the ladder, anyway, and not reaching the top. Like in a song by Fates Warning called, "The Road Goes on Forever."

its so cold in the shadow of distant light

sand the chilling wind slows our pace and tests our will

still a voice whispers it will be over soon

and there we find the courage to climb the hill

sometimes I lose sight of where i'm going

fanned by a flame I can't remember

but distant lights still burn bright

and the road goes on forever

year after year with renewed ambition

we scale the walls to find there's nothing there

still idle hands clutch the empty page

with the passion of a desperate prayer

sometimes I lose sight of where i'm going

fanned by a flame I can't remember

but distant lights still burn bright

and the road goes on forever

and here we are again

the doors close behind us

and the road goes on and on and on and on...

sometimes I lose sight of where i'm going

fanned by a flame I can't remember

but distant lights still burn bright

and the road goes on forever

forever...

That pretty much says it all.

~J