Shredder

Ok, so I bought this paper shredder, yesterday. I like it, it's destructive. I had a bunch of stuff I wanted to shred, so I started and I got it all done pretty quickly. Old bills, bank statements, unpaid tickets, etc. But you know, I just didn't want to stop. Now, I knew that my ex-wife wouldn't fit, so that pretty much ruled out my plans to make sure that the 2008 presidential election went the way I wanted, since she is a crank junkie and would fit before any fat "conservative" would. So I decided to start with the cat. It took some work, but I did it. Man, what a sight...until the motor gave up half-way through. But no problem, I just hooked up the motor out of my old vacuum. Next, I wanted to do something that would benefit the world in some way. I know, I know...trying to be mother Theresa. So what I came up with is this...I am going to shred those Goddamned AOL cd's that they send me every fucking month!! I mean, what do they think? That if they send enough, I'll think to myself, "Wow, I guess I do want to support a world-wide media tyrant, thereby erradicating free interaction of ideas and marginalizing public awareness?" Fuckin assholes. Next it'll be anything having to do with McDonald's, then ...I need a bigger shredder, there's just no getting around it. I want to fit a Chevy into it.
~J