I'm too sexy

I got my new Flatland Fuel shirt, today. It's made out of "performance fabric." It feels like a roadbike jersey. Fuck, I feel sexy in this shirt, let me tell you. It follows the contours of my belly and makes me look like Homer Simpson. I have to think about Tzim's mother before I can see my penis, butI don't care. With this shirt, I am a GOD!
~J