...Of Natural History

Well, my "Sleepy Time Gorilla Museum" cd got here, today. http://www.sleepytimegorillamuseum.com/main.html I bought it on recommendation of Darrell. It is DEFINATELY different. It comes up under "avantegarde" for genre...pretty much says it all. Joe called today to tell me he is getting the Profile mini cranks in two weeks. He sounds to be on a crusade to get his bike to 24 lbs or less. Damn, that's light for a flatland bike...hell, that's light for a RACE bike. In Sarge related news, there is an update...he's a geek, and a pretty one at that. He has told me why all his shirts are ripped and stained; apparently when he is in the store purchasing clothing, he rips the shirts and throws them upon the floor to soil them in an attempt to get a discount. Then he takes them home and washes them in hot water, which explains why they are so tight, as well. I knew there a reason for all this madness.
~J

Another good session. Besides the crusading father/boxer/self-righteous fuckhead cocksucker, that is. The guy certainly acted like he wanted some trouble. Oh well, with the adrenaline the incedent gave me I spun like a mothafucka. My little girl is sick. My boy is sick. I am sick. It was amazing that I even got to ride at all, really. Lately my sessions have kinda been like, "Oh, I have an hour to ride starting in three mintutes! I'd better get my ass in gear!" This weekend was no exception. Anyway, I was able to ride, after all and saturday Joe and I watched almost every flatland video I had on my pc. We probably watched four hours of footage. Having broadband has done so much for my riding. So has Joe. So has the Sarge. So has a nice bike.
Oh, we also watched Justin's movie and we agree that Joe's section is the best part of the video. It was filmed by far the best, had the best vibe and pretty much kicked ass.
Can someone tell Sarge that this picture is backwards?!!
~J

I talked to Tzim, tonight. He is in Wyoming, where it apparently -3 degrees. Holy shit!! We talked for a little while and I sometimes think that I have known him for years, because he is so much like my best friends. He's a stud.
Ok, phone update. I realized that I can put custom ringers to every person in my phonebook. Not only that, but I can record the sounds that I want to use for the ringtone! It's awesome. I am going to get some Arnold Schwarzenegger for the Scuffinator...I can't wait.
I also cannot wait to get over this sickness that I have picked up. I am so hatin life right now. I just hope I can ride this weekend, that is all that matters.
~J

End of An Era

Today Oliver goes to live with my friend Diane. I will miss his big black ass. I know she will love him and keep him safe.
~J

Can I Get A Witness?

Great session, yesterday. It made me realize that flatland is all about being in the sun. How many times have we dreamed of having a great indoor spot to ride? That would be great, but there is something about riding in the sun that makes flatland better. (My daughter just came in, listening to my mindisk player, dancing and singing and playing air-guitar)

The Grant courts are going to be incredible this summer. Life is easier after sessions like this last weekend, no exageration. Riding the best bike I have ever had, with some of the best riders I have ever known...who needs sex, anyway? Ok, maybe that's going a little too far, but it was great. The only thing I that could make it better would be hearing on the radio that Bush had been killed when Chaney's atomic-powered heart exploded, taking out Rush Limbaugh and the Fox News studios. Or maybe that Meghan was moving to Oregon.

(My daughter is now drumming with two pens on my desk and boogiing to some metal stuff I have on the minidisk)
~J

Have Your Girl Call My Girl

I got a new phone. It can record video, take pictures, download all manner of shit and it actually works like a phone. I can't stop messing with it. I have been kinda browsing the software you can get for these things and it's all very intresting. You can get programs to help you learn spanish, lose weight, quit smoking, balance you check book (maybe I should get that one!!) and count carbs. I can create songs with a mixer program, etc. This thing will keep me occupied for years. I am thinking about making a website where members who pay a monthly fee can download pictures I take of Sarge admiring his reflection in the mirror as he does things like flexing, shaves his chest and checks to make sure his t-shirts are trashy and tight.
~J

Connect

There is a show on the Spike channel called, Ultimate Fight Championship. It's one of those reality shows where the guys kick one anothers' ass. It's great, I love it. I hate reality programing for the most part, but this show rocks. Nothing like seeing people beat down on a weekly basis. It's funny, but sometimes the people getting beat upon look familiar...sometimes, I swear one of them looked JUST like my ex-wife. And another time one looked vaguely like my fifth-grade teacher. Now, come to think of it, there was another time where I thought I saw Gary getting punched repeatedly while he cried like a bitch. Man, I need to slow down on the frogs... Not sure what THAT'S all about.
~J

Tunage

Yes, the minidisk is a wonderous and stimulating contrivance. Now that I have the cable to work with my pc, I have made several disks and I'm going to have different disks for different moods. I looked at subscribing to some kind of MP3 service, but I think that it adds up quick. I am the type of person who would rather have the cd for a few dollars more as opposed to having an MP3 for 3/4 the cost. That's just me, though. I got to ride today and it was a good session. I am trying to do the fire-hydrant to half-barflip (which I call a hal-varial) to half-hike to pinky-squeek. I will g-turn the half-hike and then throw the seat under me (swinging clockwise, same as my g-turn rotation) and pinky-squeek. Kinda proud of that one. Sarge is starting to hit his karl-kruizer to flop hikers (which is what I call them) more and more, though he is hatin the CH lot. In Joe news, he has purchased a phone...all I can say is..ABOUT FUCKIN TIME!! It'll be good to be able to talk to him, again. Well, so far, Alice in Chains (self-titled) is a good soundtrack...
~J

Mute point (Get It?)

I bought the NetMD Minidisk walkman from Joe that had once been The Scuffinator's. I love it. Today I rode with it and Sarge showed up and of course gave me a ton of shit about it. I had some Jaco Pastorius and Weather Report tunes on and it fit well with my mood. The sad thing is that now Sarge and I will never verbally communicate again. We do this hand gesture-exageration type thing...kinda bothers me, because he has brought me over to the darkside. I just hope I don't get my hand cut off with a lightsaber. One thing I will never do is turn it up so loud that I can't hear people...I hate that. So, here is my tuen list so far.

1. Jaco P. (several songs)
2. Dream Theater, Learning to Live
3. Danzig, Possesion
4. Liquid Tension Experiment, Osmossis
5. Deep Forest (several songs)
6. YoYo Ma (several songs)
7. Rumah Sakit, Wind & Wing
8. Mad Season, River of Deceit
9. Enchant, Catharsis
10. Peter Gabriel (several songs)
11. Finger Eleven, Other Light
12. Gordian Knot, Muttersprache
13. Several Cello suites

Man, that is alot of music. Hey, Paul!

~J

That's the Bruise Talking

I think about death alot. I always have. Every night before I fall asleep, I usually can't help but think to myself, "Someday I'm going to die." Being an atheist, that means I will cease to be. I kinda hope Paul is right and that I do go to hell, because that way, I will still exist. How bad can it be, I mean really? I have had some situations where I came pretty close to dying, though some of those times I didn't really realize it until later. I believe that everything ends, that there is no such thing as static balance because decay will dominate and promote the downward slide. Energy seeks conversion and we cannot stop it. I've always sought within myself a peace with my demise, but have not quelled that ultimate fear. I do not fear death, but the unknown after. The little voice tells me that I will not endure death but my inner child won't hear it. Tonight I will think that phrase to myself again and know that life is short and mysterious. Happiness keeps me afloat. I laugh almost everyday without trying to. I can't take anything to seriously for too long. There are too many people taking the world too seriously, anyway, I seek to oppose them and in doing so, face my mortality in my own way. That may not make sense to some of you ( all three of you who read this), but it means everything to me. Sleep tight.
~J

Mental masturbation

Flatland is an enigma. It is the thing you see no PBS and wonder why anyone would devote so much of their life to it's pursuit. Bmx in general has dominated so much of my life and flatland has dominated so much of my riding that I can't stand the fact that someday I will be forced to stop completely. I have endured so much ridicule from people for riding a "kid's" bike and alot of flack within the BMX world for riding flatland. It's silly. Not to whine, but flatland enjoys few of the positive aspects of BMX (versatile terrain, numerous skateparks, numerous dirt jumping locations) and all of the negative image (security guards/cops assume you're grinding things, getting kicked out of everywhere). But I don't care because I derive so much from riding. Flatland has provided me with a way to grow in ways I can't put into words. It is self-confidense, exertion and self-expression on dubs, yo. In my view, everyone is on the outside looking in, while we flatlanders are inside, riding a smooth matte concrete surface in a lit, air-conditioned wearhouse with really cheap vending machines stocked with Dr. Pepper, microbrews, various energy bars and mp3's.
~J