That's the Bruise Talking

I think about death alot. I always have. Every night before I fall asleep, I usually can't help but think to myself, "Someday I'm going to die." Being an atheist, that means I will cease to be. I kinda hope Paul is right and that I do go to hell, because that way, I will still exist. How bad can it be, I mean really? I have had some situations where I came pretty close to dying, though some of those times I didn't really realize it until later. I believe that everything ends, that there is no such thing as static balance because decay will dominate and promote the downward slide. Energy seeks conversion and we cannot stop it. I've always sought within myself a peace with my demise, but have not quelled that ultimate fear. I do not fear death, but the unknown after. The little voice tells me that I will not endure death but my inner child won't hear it. Tonight I will think that phrase to myself again and know that life is short and mysterious. Happiness keeps me afloat. I laugh almost everyday without trying to. I can't take anything to seriously for too long. There are too many people taking the world too seriously, anyway, I seek to oppose them and in doing so, face my mortality in my own way. That may not make sense to some of you ( all three of you who read this), but it means everything to me. Sleep tight.
~J