Get Shorty
When I got home, someone was parked in my spot, so I parked in another spot. There were about twelve spots empty, then I went in and took a shit. While I was in there, Toby knocked on the door and said the neighbor was pissed that I was in his spot. The guy doesn't have a car. I say ok, and get out. My mom and sister are visiting and they tell me that the guy was yelling at Toby and Toby is wide-eyed.
I take the garbage out and try to chill out, but the guy (who we'll call Shorty) comes down his stairs and tells me I need to move my "fucking car." I head his way. Before I get there, he bristles and says, "What the fuck, man? You got a problem?" He stays on the step so that he is above me, but I walk up to him and stare into his eyes and tell him I don't like people yelling at my son. He steps down and gets in my face, calling me names. I lean forwards and press my forehead to the top of his head, since he is about four inches shorter than me , and push him back into the flowerbed, he steps to the side and gets back onto the step. He says he didn't yell, but I tell him I have people who saw him, he says they are "fucking full of shit."
By this time I am staying in his face, yelling and trembling because I want to hit him soo bad. He tells me to move my piece of shit car or he will. I invite him to do so and also invite him to fuck himself.
I go into the house, where Toby, Mom and my sister, Morgan, are bristling and Abby is crying. I calm her down and go out move the car.
Shorty comes down the steps with his phone, I can tell he is talking to the manager. He is trying to figure out what apt. I am in, so I yell it to him, "502!" He repeats it into the phone, so I yell my name as well. He says, "Yeah you better move it you punk bitch."
I tell him, "Just have to escalate it, don't you? Can't just be fucking cool about anything, right?" He invites me to fuck myself. I talk to the manager and find out that they have already been evicted and the apt is already rented. Shorty has nothing to lose.
I find out later from Becky that Shorty has gotten in Toby's face before. Now I am really pissed.
Aaaah, the ghetto...
~J
I take the garbage out and try to chill out, but the guy (who we'll call Shorty) comes down his stairs and tells me I need to move my "fucking car." I head his way. Before I get there, he bristles and says, "What the fuck, man? You got a problem?" He stays on the step so that he is above me, but I walk up to him and stare into his eyes and tell him I don't like people yelling at my son. He steps down and gets in my face, calling me names. I lean forwards and press my forehead to the top of his head, since he is about four inches shorter than me , and push him back into the flowerbed, he steps to the side and gets back onto the step. He says he didn't yell, but I tell him I have people who saw him, he says they are "fucking full of shit."
By this time I am staying in his face, yelling and trembling because I want to hit him soo bad. He tells me to move my piece of shit car or he will. I invite him to do so and also invite him to fuck himself.
I go into the house, where Toby, Mom and my sister, Morgan, are bristling and Abby is crying. I calm her down and go out move the car.
Shorty comes down the steps with his phone, I can tell he is talking to the manager. He is trying to figure out what apt. I am in, so I yell it to him, "502!" He repeats it into the phone, so I yell my name as well. He says, "Yeah you better move it you punk bitch."
I tell him, "Just have to escalate it, don't you? Can't just be fucking cool about anything, right?" He invites me to fuck myself. I talk to the manager and find out that they have already been evicted and the apt is already rented. Shorty has nothing to lose.
I find out later from Becky that Shorty has gotten in Toby's face before. Now I am really pissed.
Aaaah, the ghetto...
~J
posted by Voodstoc at 9:59 PM
7 Comments:
Damn boy, now I am going to have dreams about you tonight!
~Julie
I love that kind of shit... What's the point? Miserable people are everywhere and are just DYING to share their poison with you if you let them.
I have to admire your restraint in dealing with that choad. Nice work.
As for internet_chick: You are a scary, scary woman.
ya dude nice restraint,my guess is this guy enjoys powder drugs so next time offer him some free crank,ask him to hold on sec go in your house grab an old crank arm and break his lips....joe
ya dude nice restraint,my guess is this guy enjoys powder drugs so next time offer him some free crank,ask him to hold on sec go in your house grab an old crank arm and break his lips....joe
Next time that happens (hopefully it won't), break out in song and dance...like it's the fucking Tony Awards!
Maybe something from Westside Story..Yes!! How appropriate!
"Boy, boy, crazy boy,
Get cool, boy!
Got a rocket in your pocket,
Keep coolly cool, boy!
Don't get hot,
'Cause man, you got
Some high times ahead.
Take it slow and Daddy-O,
You can live it up and die in bed!
"Boy, boy, crazy boy!
Stay loose, boy!
Breeze it, buzz it, easy does it.
Turn off the juice, boy!
Go man, go,
But not like a yo-yo schoolboy.
Just play it cool, boy,
Real cool!"
Then just walk away and leave him standing in the awkward silence.
Yeah, then he'll wanna dance with me or worse!! No thanks!!
~J
That's pretty sad.. He's probably my age or so, and he has to get in a 12 year olds face.. Whatever, good that he has gotten the boot, and hopefully he doesn't try and start anything more before he leaves.
I wonder if the cops are going to have to move him out...
-Morgan
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