Gary the Retard

I wanna punch Gary. I mean it. This is how bad the dude is: Today we are washing his work van and he HAS to control the hose, and I know exactly why. He doesn't want us to waste water. I was telling Juan, when Gary couldn't hear, "Don't touch the hose, esay." So as I was washing Gary sprayed me twice out of sheer stupidity. So I picked up the hose and started using it, though I didn't spray him (I WANTED TO!!). I could tell it bothered Gary that I had the hose. I used it liberally, too.
I seriously can't stand him, sometimes. At about 2:00, I had had enough. He knew he was pissing me off and tried to justify it by telling me how frustrated he is about the job we are starting on monday. I told him that it wouldn't be a big deal if it didn't happen on a constant basis. I told him that by the end of the week, I have no tolerance "because I go home to a 12 year old that does the same fucking thing."
But what really gets me is that most of the time when I am being a smartass, Gary misses it, which makes me mad because I hate wasting good material. He'll be stressing over some stupid piece of equipment or tool and I'll ask him if he wants to put it in his office, which should piss him off, but he responds as though I am being serious...it sucks. I can't even fuck with him because it goes RIGHT OVER HIS HEAD! ARGH!
I am working on a plan to get a shocking collar on him so that every time he says something asinine, I can shock him. There is no other way, now, but to use negative reinforcement. Maybe when he does it, I'll just spit in his face or slap him. I want instant gratification, whatever method provides it. I thought about leaving some crank messages on his cell phone, too. Fake messages from some government office informing him that he is overdue for him inspection.
I MUST ruin this man's life.
~J

Kitties rule!!

http://www.compfused.com/directlink/847/

You will laugh!!
~J

Bang! Bang!!

Strange how things happen. I got 39 comments on my last post. I figure that Paul is still smoldering.

You know, I was hoping for more fireworks when Paul and Julie met, but they were so...so...adult about the whole thing...it was sick. They didn't even glare or ANYTHING! It just goes to show that if you try hard enough, you can eradicate drama from your life.

Well, I can't get Becky out of my life...she called today and asked what I was taking her to court over. I told her nothing. Apparently she went to legal aid to get help with support enforcement's requirement from her and they said that they couldn't help her because it would be a conflict of interest. She said that they told her that because of something to do with my name. They also told her that there would be a court hearing addressing the matter soon. Go figure. I can't help but to wonder if she isn't going to suffer some consequences. Now THAT would be dramatic, to say the least!
~J

Jam Another Dragon Down the Hole

Today as I was getting ready to go for a bike ride with the kids and Julie, I was screwing around with a pinky-squeek and my knarp cut through the cable for my brake. I totally killed my shin on the base of my brake lever. It was shredded, bruised and bledding. Kinda hurt. I kinda swore.

But I walked it off and, in true Brigade fashion, promptly ignored it. Glory is forever, chicks dig scars and pain is temporary. FUCK IT!

While I was at the beach saturday, I looked at the ocean from a rock that Toby and I had climbed. The ocean is such a powerful body. It's humbling. The kids gathered a bunch of rocks and it got me thinking...

Alot of the rocks look very pretty when they're wet, but once you get them home and dried, most of them are not so pretty. So when you're looking for a rock to keep and cherrish, sometimes you have to keep an open mind and bring home rocks that you may usually overlook. Sometimes the rock that becomes your favorite may be not be the pretty rock simply because it is not like all the others.

~J

Perfection

Sunlight pounds into the room through the enormous windows facing the piano. He sits completely engrossed in his keyed vibrations, looking but not seeing. He is dressed in shades of brown, his hair falling around his shoulders, his eyes moist yet unexpressive. His head is lowered with the effort of communion.
Within the room, the music absorbs and reflects in a loud, lilting cascade. Then a woman enters in a brisk dance. She is dressed in blue, with her hair tight above her glistening brow. She whips and spins around the piano, keeping her eyes upon him as he pours himself into and out from the strings and hammers. She matches his tempo, anticipates his changes, mirrors his highs and lows. Something in her manner suggests that she wants him to stop playing, and yet she dances on.
The music seems to form itself to her dance, to energize her and lend a glow to her body. Notes seem to almost carry her along as she washes the floor with her feet, the air rushing from her limbs.
As the sun reaches the ground, she is faltering, her legs are red from exertion and her chest heaves with passionate pain. What color are your eyes, she whispers, what color are your eyes? Her pace is frenzied in step with the music, hands above her, now behind. She spins with her dress flung about her body, spraying sweat upon the keys, upon the windows. She is communicating, asking and telling.
Then she falls with a gasp and in that instant, the music stops, the cover is slammed down over the keys causing a blend of struck keys into a muddy chord and the bench is toppled over. He rises and strides out without a backward glance. From the floor, she raises her voice to him, "Why don't you see me?"
He stops at the entrance. Without turning towards her, he whispers, "Why can't you hear me?" Then he continues on his way as the chaos of sound dies in the piano.

There's no love in fear!! - Tool

So I went riding today at the ghetto courts. It was pretty cool. The sun was shining, the children were screaming and the sound of a minimotorcycle filled my ears. Thos little cycles are loud and stupid. All the locals were stoked, though. They had huge smiles on their faces. I needed to get some circles in, though...I had a bad day. Well, really it has been more of a trying day. Gary is kinda getting to me again.
I swear I never want to be that anal and uptight. The guy's entire life revolves around that place. his whole identity is tied up in it and I hate it. I have no idea how he has stayed married for 30 years. I don't live with him and I want a divorce. So I needed circles.
Then after I have been riding for about a half hour, Julie calls. I figured that I wouldn't be riding for a few minutes, but she says to me, "Are you riding?" I told her yeah, that I was and she says, "Ok, well, I'd better let you get back to it." I was shocked. I waited for the sigh...you know the one. But it didn't come. I was trippin'.
I am starting to get the feeling that she doesn't feel the need to compete with my bike time. But that makes no sense whatsoever...does it? I mean, can security coexist with a bike in the house? Hmmm, I sure hope so. It's kinda funny because I am eating alot of my words just meeting her, but she is very, very cool. We have hung out four times and she hasn't gotten weird on me or manipulated me or ANYTHING!
Now, I just need to tell her about Joe and me and our gerbals.

As for Tzim, I NEED PICS!! Pictures, man, PICTURES!! They are already in your computer, I know it. FUCK DUDE!!
~J

Wanna Laugh?

http://www.compfused.com/directlink/655/

http://www.compfused.com/directlink/46/

I DIED!!
~J

Oh Canada!

Canada is great! We have just gotten done riding for about 10 hours. Most of the crew are sunburned. We shot a shitload of pictures and met people from around the world who came together for one thing...Flatland. Crossing the border was kinda gnarly, they asked about our records and gave Joe some crap about not having a passport or birth certificate.

We are sitting in our suite talking about the day. Nathan Panonzek showed up and he is our hero. He bought a sailboat and he has been traveling the world riding. Cory Stratechek was there as well and he is incredible. I learned a few new things as well. I saw some of the people I rode with a dozen years ago when I about the time I was going pro. Jamie Macintosh remembered me, which was very cool. Being here brings back those feelings like I had back then. Riding was/is/has always been such a driving and exciting force throughout my life. This will stay with me for my entire life.

Pictures to follow.

~J

Excitement

Well...

• C
• A
• N
• A
• D
• A

Yo! My vacation! Tzim says we are getting a suite at the Ramada Inn. HOLY SHIT! This is going to rule like no other trip has ever ruled. I just wish I had enough money to go for a week. I am stretching my self so thin for this, it had better be worth it.

I've been hanging out with Julie alot and she's very cool. It's funny because I was determined not to ever meet her at some point. I no longer think she is to be avoided...but her friend Kim, on the other hand...
~J

Communication Breakdown

Well, I dropped my phone in the tub. Yeah, I know...let it begin. I am recieving a new one within a few days, but until then, I am phoneless. It sucks, too. I feel cut off. I feel like I am a nobody...I can't get an erection and I am constantly itching. I need that damned phone back and soon.

It really sucks because all those games I bought are gone. Also that picture I took of Julie in a comprimising position when she wasn't looking...I shed a tear over that one. Oh well.
~J

Sunny Day

My breath was coming faster, despite my efforts to appear calm. I kept walking, catching glances of the man behind me in reflections in chrome bumperss and store windows. I tried to not walk faster and focus on escape. If they hadn't taken me, yet, they must not be sure I am me. Which made things very risky. I could either continue on as nothing had changed and hope that they ruled me out or I could do my best to get away.
I was trying to watch everything around me, though I failed to notice the sedan that stopped directly in front of me as I crossed an intersection until it was too late. Not that I had a chance at that point. I was pulled into the car by my coat and hair without a word.
A few blocks back, I had removed the pin from a grenade I carried at nearly all times. If I noticed anything suspicious, I would remove the pin and keep the grenade trigger unreleased, then replace the pin when I felt out of danger.
When the two men put me in the car between them, they both grabbed my arms and used their legs to pin me. They brought my arms out of my coat pockets and saw that I held the grenade in my hand sans pin. One of the men placed his hand over mine, forcing me to continue to grip the release. The man on my left grabbed my arm and I started screaming.
The driver saw what was happening in his rear view mirror and pulled the car over. He had stopped in front of a park, where I could see children playing and parents looking in my direction with startled looks sweeping their faces. The driver pointed a gun at my head and told me to calm down. The man on my right told him, "Put that damn thing away, you idiot! Do you think he's going to ne worried about being shot for trying to kill himself with a grenade?"
The reality of what was going on must have hit home at that point, because the driver opened the door and started running up the block.
"I have the details in a thousand places," I yelled. "You don't need me!"
"Doesn't work that way, kid," the guy on my right replied. "Let me have this before you kill someone's daughter!"
At that point, the guy on my left grabbed the bottom of the grenade and started trying to get ahold on the release. I head-butted him and threw myself against the other man, while releasing the trigger.

Enjoy the Trick Jam

August 20th, Beaverton Oregon at Conestoga School. Coach is going to give out shirts and there will be a longest hang-5 contest. BBQ to follow. Santiam has already said they will kick in some goodies and hopefully Shad will, too. There has been one guy I have not heard of who is going to show and we will have flyers for the WCFJam when we go to Canada.

• I
• Can't
• Fucking
• Wait!

This summer is going to kick ass. Period. I gave up alot when I got my kids, but I have gotten so much back, it's weird.

I bought "Songs For the Deaf" by Queens of the Stone Age...go buy this disk, NOW! It is great! Definately one of the best cd's I have bought in years. Abby likes to dance to it, we were rockin'!!

I also bought Martti's dvd, it should be here friday or saturday. But I have to save my cash for Canada, so I have to be careful. I have tits on my mind...luscious tits, tasty tits...yummy.

Tits, yo!

~J

Just Whatch This

http://www.compfused.com/directlink/293/

~J

BANG!!

Well, I have some news. I just talked to Joe and he and Tzim came up with a great idea for a jam. Since Justin has stopped doing the Paradise Jams, they thought they would put one on. I am stoked. Apparently there is some X-games thing going on in August and since flatland seems to be BMX's alter-ego, the Jam will happen as an alternative to the hype. More details to come.

The Brigade will be on hand to make sure blood flows.

~J

Aussy Ass

I found my birth certificate, so I am good to go. I am counting the days until the 15th. I have already let Gary know that I am worthless that day and hopefully I won't have to work. I have Sequence standers all around and I am going to order a tire, so nothing can fuck this up!!

Sarge called from the airport in Hawaii...he was delayed because the plane had to return due to low headlight fluid. He was nervous about the situation, I could tell in his voice...he's stressing. I should have told him to have a few drinks on the plane. I just hope he doesn't try to fulfill his mission on one of the stewardesses, because they don't count. They get their asses felt so much by the pilots that Dice Clay could feel them up and they wouldn't care. Nope, Sarge, you gotta feel some Aussy ass.
~J