Ok well, apparently I have been tagged for these questions by Marrie. I have to answer them in some online tech-culture fad and I'm not happy about it because I feel like I am not totally in control. Because I feel that way, I will not answer truthfully so as not to validate this kind of behavior.

1. Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognizes you from your blog? No, just the opposite. I dress up like a repressed Wal-mart employee complete with a tick in my left eye. That generally keeps people from really looking at me.
2. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered? Yes, I make my short bulge as though I have a penos work masturbating with.
3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you? Yes, I call these people my friends.
4. Do you lie in your blog? Yeah, all the time because I believe people actually read it. A narcissistic delussion.
5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog? More like aggressive-passive...
6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop? Yeah, but I am met with overpowering encouragement. It makes me feel good to get that kind of attention.
7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be? If so, is it helping? I was, until my therapist walked into a daycare center for wealthy dogs and shot the place up with aresol streamers. He said it symbolized the agony that the tarnished view into my psyche brought him every thursday at 2:10.
8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you fake nice ones? No, I alter them making it appear that I am loved and that people view me as a worthy person. I hope one day to have sexual intercourse without the use of weapons.
9. Have you ever rubbed one out while reading a blog? How about after? Yes, reading Liz's blog gets me really randy because of the picture of Coda. Rough, Rough!!
10. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less? They would love me the moment they met me, for I am the culmination of humbleness.
11. Do you have a job? I work for a company who performs circumcisions preparing the removed foreskin for use in aresol streamers.
12. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it? NO! Blogging is an art form and I would never taint my art by accepting money. I'd do it for porn, though.
13. Which blogger do you want to meet in real life? The female one who wears glasses with mis-matched arms, had fairies and eyeballs tattooed on her body and who is determined to find a dead body in a secluded urban area.
14. Which bloggers have you made out with? (a)In real life? (b)In fantasy? Well, I have made out with Julie and Liz pressed my head against her chest, once.
15. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have? More. Basically I don't have any money and you just can't get laid without money because you pay for it one way or another.
16. Does your family read your blog? Yes, though they are monkeys from Uranis and they can't read english.
17. How old is your blog? Old enough to start teething and calling me "Stupid, evil fucker!"
18. Do you get more than 1000 page views per day? Do you care? Yes, I do care. I have no idea how many views I get, but I am trying to get some porn sponsors for this blog, so please click on the links so that I can keep this blog free!!
19. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being depressed, slutty, or a liar? You mean, I don't do that on THIS blog?!
20. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing? No, but I have offered in exchange for praise of my enormous penis.
21. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes? Taxes?
22. Is blogging narcissistic? This question is not worthy of me.
23. Do you feel guilty when you don't post for a long time? Yes, because I know that people NEED my tarnished view of the world.
24. Do you like John Mayer? Wasn't he the original guitarist for Slayer?
25. Do you have enemies? Yes, there are midgets following me, waiting for thier chance to strike. I keep them at bay by always keeping a can of tuna in my back pocket.
26. Are you lonely? Yes, will you kiss me?
27. Why bother? Because bothering has been my joy ever since I was a child, so why stop now?

Ok, so now I tag Paul and Julie. You must answer the questions.
~J