Weekender!

The bride and groom enjoy a dance. Liz was so pretty!



This is the shot I got by holding my camera over everyone's head during the vows.



Here is the unity candle. I was hoping it would start bleeding at some point, but it didn't.


After the wedding I had a great time with Julie. We enjoyed the jaccuzzi tub in our room and bsically enjoyed being together all night. Then the next morning we went into Seattle to Capitol Hill where we ate lunch and looked around.

Here are some dance steps which are embedded into the sidewalk.



Julie should have bought this hat, it makes her look so bohemian!

~J

How the Cinch TRIED to Steal the Weekend

Well, the Cinch (Becky) tried to fuck up my weekend, but she didn't count on the power of MOM! I will be at the wedding simply because my mom is so damned cool. I love that woman.

I do NOT love Becky, though. It pains me no end that I am tied to this woman to some extent for the rest of my life. She amazes me. She makes me wish I had studied psychology alot more. She is a thesis waiting to happen. Seriously. If you ever are in a position to question your perception of reality, think about the Cinch and you'll be grounded. It's too bad that my kids are looking to this person as some sort of model. Oh, well...all I can do is cross my fingers...

~J

Picture Pages

Abby took this one of me riding. She's pretty good!


Another Abby original.


Good eye, Abigail!


Abby is ready for soccer!!

~J

Working for a Weekend!

I'm having a good weekend. Julie came down and spent the night and next morning with me. We walked around the neighborhood a little and saw a house that was for rent. Not a big place, but bigger than this place. I found out they want $675 a month, first and last plus a $600 refundable deposit to move in. MY GOD!! That is $1950 to move in!! UNREAL!

Then I went up and rode with Joe at the werehouse. Joe didn't ride at all, but I did. I had a great session, actually. The kids farted around with the office chairs and made swords out of the crumbled pallet scraps. I got so close to getting out of a turbine-hiker to crackpack! I was stoked to say the least-that trick is no joke! I also was getting through my hang-10 to half-pack back into the switch-handed five on the seat and I was stepping over the tire, though I wasn't going anywhere once I got to there. I think I might be pulling that soon. Riding feels so good, right now and a few things are feeling more effortless. That is NOT the case for karl kruizer pass-throughs to half-pack, though...that simple trick eludes me, still. I got nowhere on it. Oh, well, once I DO get it it will open alot of doors for combo, so I can't wait.

Good weekend, so far for me. But not for Joe. Joe was hung over after getting thrown out of a bar that morning for hitting Juan too hard. I tell him, "Nothing good is coming out of those bars, Joe," but he seems to like those bars. Juan is moving in next door to Joe's place, so I don't think Coach is going to dry up anytime soon.
~J

666

So I was talking to Abby about what she wanted to be for halloween this year. She wants to be a cat. She said, matter of factly, "You should be the devil." Now, if you know me, you know that that statement was incredibly insightful. I should be the devil. I already have horns. But just being the devil isn't good enough for me. No, I need to be more than just the lord of the flies. Like, I need to get a bussiness suit along with the horns with a name tag saying "Hello, I'm Dick Cheney." Or horns with Pinochio costume with a name tag saying, "Hello, my name is Lars Larson." Then again, I could wear the horns (seeing a pattern here?) and a symphony conductor's outfit with the name tag, "Hi! I'm the New York Times."
You know, there are so many versions of evil (what I call evil, anyway) that I wouldn't be able to pick just one. I need an all-encompassing evil in a easily recognizable costume. Now, I'm curious what YOUR all-encompassing evil would be. Take a minute or two and write it down. Ossama Bin Laden? George W. Bush? Barney? Ronald McDonald? Spongebob Squarepants? Officer Bennett?
Maybe I'll just be a white Marcellis Wallace with horns. He was pretty damned evil.
~J

Keep Talking

Life is sometimes so hard. I know it sounds stupid to read it like this, but it is. And what someone is going through may be the single hardest thing they have ever dealt with and you might never know what was going on. I sometimes wonder at how stupid we all are. How we protect ourselves and eachother and all the headgames that go down. It seems so much easier to just talk, understand and relate. Life can pass me by when I isolate. When I keep my head down, trying to just survive until I can figure things out is when I lose the most.
Maybe it comes down to trust. I think I figured when I was about 10 that if I could avoid relying on people, I should. People don't just let you down, they can ruin you, make you question who you are, your intelligence, your morals. People, and by that I mean adults, can hurt with only a calculated word. I allowed people to do what they wanted, but I didn't really trust...I went through the motions. That's kinda heavy, really.
So to talk, I have to trust or just not care. I have never gotten to the place where I just don't care, so I force myself to talk. It's hard, but the more I do it, the more I realize that I can deal with the consequences. I can deal with the hurt. I wish I had talked more when I was 10.
Maybe at some point I thought talking led to pain. As an adult, now I see that talking can ease the pain. Talking can avoid pain. I like to talk and I like to resolve things. Some of the most challenging things I have done involved telling someone something that I was feeling. Funny. I have been in some situations as a kid that I look back on and think I should have been terrified, but I felt (at the time) that I knew what I should do. But in some situations where all I have to do is tell someone how I FEEL, I am terrified into inaction. I just turned on "Kepp Talking," by Pink Floyd.
I leave it at that. Once more it is all off the top of my head...
~J

Drive

I did alot of driving this weekend and listened to some of the music that fits with my outlook on life and my mindset. I thought I would post a few lines from the songs.

"How sublime a thing it is/to suffer and be strong."- Catharsis by Enchant

"Sometimes I lose sight/of where I'm going/Fanned by a flame/I can't remember/But distant lights/still burn bright/and the road goes on/forever."-Road Goes on Forever by Fates Warning

"Give up on misery/Turn your back on dissent/Leave that mistrust behind/Wash your hands of regret."-Scarred by Dream Theater

"No hero in your tragedy/No daring in your escape/No salutes for your surrender/Nothing noble in your fate/Christ, what have you done?"-The Pass by Rush

"There's no love in fear."-Pushit by Tool.

"My pain/is self-chosen/At least/I beleive it to be."-River of Deciet by Mad Season

"And my mirror shows another face/ Another place to hide it all."-Seasons by Chriss Cornell

"Forgive me if now I wear the face of worry/This time alone could never cause any doubt."-Thousand Mile Wish by Finger Eleven

These lines tear into me and awaken me.
~J

Seriously...watch this!!

http://media.putfile.com/OlbermannSwings

I mean it, this is important. And comment, I want to hear what you think, please.
~J

Speel

Life is passing me by. In recent conversations I have had with friends who are parents, I think we all feel the same. Life is passing us by. I feel stuck at my job until I have paid for my car. My ex is nearly useless as far as support goes. My family lives pretty far away and most of the people I care about do as well, aside from Sarge, they are at least an hour away. My kids are great, though. Toby is having anxiety about school, though. he is sick in the mornings.
I can't remember the last time I had what I would call a vacation. I don't feel as though I am really getting anywhere. My life is kinda stuck right now, though it is better than it ever has been. Maybe the fact that I have reached this plateu causes me to want more. I guess it would be nice to simply not have to work so HARD so much of the time. At work and inside my head.
Right now the song that I connect with more than any is "Learning to Live," by Dream Theater. The line, "Through Nature's inflexible grace/I'm learning to live," hits home the fact that we have to make do with what we are dealt. I don't make do very well, but I am getting better. I just can't help but to wish there rewards for striving and improving, but rewards aren't always there.
As I was typing this, Toby made me smile just by the way he is so serious, sometimes. He's a great kid. Goodnight, all.
~J

Proselytize

I am going to try something new. Periodically I will post an unusual word for you to use in a conversation along with the definition. Now, you have to insert it into a conversation, rather than creating a conversation to use the word. Also, you can't tell anyone why you are using the word if they question you about your word choice.

Proselytize. http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=proselytize

This is a challenge for you, there are no points to win, so cheating does you no good. Good luck!
~J

Picture time!!

I saw this sign at the car rental place. I was reassurred.



Don't fuck with my evil daughter!!

~J

Conflicts

Conflicts are abound. I am conflicting with so many people around me and it's getting to me. I am sure that my vibe is contributing to more conflicts, so I am trying to chill out. It is hard.

The latest one is with the ex-wife. She feels threatened by every little thing and tries to dominate me or situations and the best way to do so is to use the kids. I cut her off short tonight and she responded with swearing and accusations (learned it from her uncle, if anyone knows about my run-in with THAT son of a bitch). I told her I was getting off teh phone and she said, "Have fun," and hung up. Fuck her. I feel her to be no threat to me, but she can fuck with the kids. Hopefully she won't do that. I make things very easy for her and I am willing to stop in order to make feed my ego. She is trying to make an issue where none exists.

I was really looking forward to going camping with Sarge because I want to get away from people, but that isn't going to happen because of the ex. That makes me resentful. So fuck her.

~J